For Overwhelmed Parents of Children with Disabilities
Looking after a child with a disability can be exhausting and overwhelming. You have your usual parental duties as well as additional special care on top. It tends to be a long-term commitment, with rarely any breaks for you to relax and recuperate properly. You may find yourself having to make sacrifices in other areas in your life, from pursuing careers to maintaining relationships, just to be able to meet your many responsibilities. This stress can take a real toll on your health, leading you to anxiety, unhappiness, and often what’s called “parental burnout.”
Does this sound like you? We can empathize. It’s important that you have your own back and don’t ignore your symptoms. They won’t go away on their own. You need a treatment plan to overcome the issue at hand. It’s the only way you’re going to feel happy and optimistic about your future, not to mention having the energy to continue looking after yourself and your family.
In this mini-guide, Sleep Now Baby offers advice to overwhelmed parents of special needs children on how to treat their persistent feelings of exhaustion:
Pinpoint the Severity of Your Fatigue
First, before you design a self-care treatment plan, figure out the severity of your fatigue. Fatigue falls on a spectrum, from mild to extreme. The former is the kind that goes away after a good night’s sleep. The latter tends to persist regardless of the amount of rest you get. It leaves you feeling foggy and without the energy for day-to-day tasks. It interferes with your quality of life, makes it difficult to focus on work, and affects all your relationships. If it’s a persistent condition, you may have chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS).
Some of the symptoms of parental burnout, courtesy of Relief, include hopelessness, listlessness, lowered tolerance and heightened sensitivity, headaches and confusion, anxiety, and insomnia. You can also ask yourself the following questions:
Has my parenting effectiveness dropped? If you have extreme exhaustion, you may find it hard to take care of your child properly. Simple care-taking chores like feeding or cleaning may become a struggle. You may find yourself becoming irritable with your child or not giving them enough attention, which may cause them to act out. Chores that should only last a handful of hours may end up taking an entire day.
How is my marital satisfaction? Your marital satisfaction is important and strongly affects your mental health and emotional stability, says the NIH. Parental fatigue can make it drop significantly – because you and your partner may not have enough time or energy on hand to maintain and nurture your relationship. It can lead to conflict, rifts, and general dissatisfaction.
How is your level of physical activity? Physical exhaustion goes hand in hand with parental fatigue. If you followed an exercise routine or similar before, you may find yourself flagging halfway or just avoiding exercise altogether. You may not have the energy for simple day-to-day chores. Simple walks may tire you out.
Come Up with a Treatment Plan to Address the Exhaustion
As daunting and impossible as it may seem now, your fatigue isn’t a permanent condition and can be overcome. Fatigue is, at the core, a lack of energy. You need to design a self-care plan that will give you more energy – which will involve taking care of your mental, physical, and emotional needs.
Look after your various needs. As a human being, you have several primary needs. You need physical, mental, and emotional care. You also need to feel fulfilled. Some examples are feeling free, going on adventures, having good conversations, and just living life to the fullest. No one can do all these things for you – you have to do them for yourself.
Be more appreciative of yourself. When was the last time you patted yourself on the back for a job well done? Being a parent of a special needs child is not an easy task. Appreciate everything you do for your family and yourself. Remind yourself you’re actively choosing to do it – and all the reasons why. If you can’t quite muster up any appreciation, you can get some from friends and family.
Ask for help. You don’t have to look after your child alone. That also goes for your other duties. You can work together with your partner to come up with a co-parenting schedule. You can also ask your friends and family to lend you a helping hand from time to time. Just having someone babysit for an evening can give you some much-needed rest.
Be more active. It can feel overwhelming to add something else to your schedule, but finding time for physical activities can make a big difference in your physical and mental wellbeing. Try scheduling a walk around the neighborhood either with your child or when your partner or care provider can be present. Being in nature has been shown to lift people’s spirits and calm their minds, so walking outdoors is a great option even when you don’t have a ton of time or money to devote to an exercise regiment.
Give yourself time off. Time off is essential for you to relax and recuperate. It’s a good idea to have mini-breaks between tasks. Even a brief pause – enough time for you to focus on your breathing – leaves you with more energy. You can further capitalize on this by working to keep your home free of clutter in order to better facilitate rest. Invest in a few sturdy plastic bins and even work with your child on a clean up routine you can do together. Also, always try to take days off when you can. Maybe you can’t always go on long vacations, but mini one-day trips aren’t as hard.
Join a support group. Lastly, consider joining a support group. This will help on multiple levels. You’ll have the support of people who can understand everything you are going through. You can share strategies to cope and overcome your fatigue together. Also, it can help you become a better parent to your child.
Pursuing Personal Goals Can Make You Feel More Fulfilled
Life should be much more than routines and drudgery. Having personal goals – and achieving them – can make you feel more fulfilled. Goals give you a sense of progression and can be something to hold on to, and to help you ride out the tough times.
For instance, you may have dreamed of starting your own business. It’s easier than you think. Look into how to start an LLC in Virginia. It only takes a few steps, and you can work with a formation service if you want to ensure everything gets filed correctly the first time. That process will require you to come up with a name for your business idea, and then write a business plan. That plan will include many important details about your business, from the structure you choose to how you’ll find funding and how you’ll market your goods or services.
Once you get the details done, you can design a logo to get the ball rolling as well as flesh out your brand’s identity. Logos are for making strong impressions, building up brand awareness, and differentiating your business from the competition. You can make custom logos online with an appropriate service. Choose a style and icon, add in text, and pick from an assortment with custom fonts and colors.
Self-Treatment has Downsides
Any self-care plan you come up with is bound to have downsides. If you’re new to the whole self-care business, for instance, you may come up with an ineffective plan that doesn’t help much. You may end up under-diagnosing your symptoms or exacerbating them by going overboard. You may expect miracles – and then be disappointed. It’s a good idea to keep your expectations in check. You’ll have to put in work to see real results – it won’t happen overnight. Expect some false starts and treatment plan revisions.
Seek Professional Help When You’re Overwhelmed
You aren’t alone, and you don’t need to design a treatment plan yourself. You can and should, ideally, do it in consultation with a doctor. This especially applies if you’re dealing with mental health or chronic pain conditions. If you aren’t feeling up to an in-person visit, you can access reliable medical care online. If you see an online doctor, it gives you more choices for care and treatment, with more flexibility and ease with having prescriptions filled. An online doctor visit is also typically more affordable than an in-person one.
You may also want to seek professional help for the care and management of your child. There is no shame in asking for help. I think every parent has dreamt of hiring a pediatric sleep consultant like Sleep Now Baby. When neither you nor your baby get the rest you need, you cannot be at your best. And depending on your child’s needs, look into outside help so that you can take some much needed breaks. You know your child like no one else, but that doesn’t mean someone can’t care for them for a few hours while you nap, grab coffee with friends, or do whatever else rejuvenates you.
Find Ways to Take Breaks
The key to overcoming exhaustion in the long-term is to build up a self-care routine you can follow every day. Focus on building and maintaining your health. Good health is how you’ll have the energy you need to perform your parental duties, overcome challenges, and generally build a satisfactory life for yourself. And don’t be afraid to seek outside help from a therapist, medical professional, caretaker, or a sleep specialist. If you aren’t at your best, then you can’t be the parent you want to be, so put yourself first once in a while. You and your child will be grateful.
